I can feel you judging me through the phone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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