youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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