I like my sex mixed with concussions.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize