Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
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He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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