We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
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on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
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Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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