why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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