Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize