what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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