I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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