Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize