can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
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We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
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It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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