Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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