You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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