I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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