Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize