I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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