Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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