is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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