i think my tv is drunk
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize