I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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