I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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