He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
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bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
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Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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