if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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