I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize