Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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