I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize