Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He shit in the fireplace
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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