you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize