I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
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She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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