i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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