Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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