in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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