fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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