I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize