In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize