i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize