Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize