I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
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my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
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Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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