This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize