imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize