SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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