You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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