Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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