my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize