Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize