Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize