my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
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My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
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I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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