i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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