fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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