Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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